I am not a nice man…

Well,  today I got a rather interesting email.  Apparently some load that should have been swallowed has decided that since my domain name is not registered in the .com top level domain he would register it for a pittance and offer it to me for $99 (I figure at least a 2000% markup) which at the end I have no doubts he still retains ownership and I get “control” through his domain reselling account.  Considering that if I paid my normal registrar $99 I’d get the domain for 5 years you can see how much he’s trying to rape people.  Being as I’m a tad more network savvy than most (former mail admin for an ISP, former programmer for another ISP, blah, blah, blah) I decided to give him exactly what he deserved.

Here is his post, edited to protect the innocent.


The domain blahblahblah
<http://www.domainguardsystem.com/domaininfo.php?e=10675195&r=14563410> has recently
become available for us so we are offering it to you, because you are the owner of
its .org version.

Domain Guard System is intended to assist our clients with their promotion on the
We use many methods to increase the effectiveness of a client's presence on the Web.
Securing .com domains for anyone using another extension for their site is one of

There are several reasons why owning a .com is of great importance for any domain
- It's in the essense of Internet: .com is most popular and widely used, and the
typical user usually supposes that he/she will find you at blahblahblah
  A lot of companies and organizations who use other extensions as primary (.net for
Web services or private sites, .org for non-profit organizations etc.) are
securing .coms not to lose the visitors who are seeking them there.
  With .com, you will be free to use both your .org and .com so you will only gain
- By owning the .com, you will be sure to stay #1 in your own name space.

If you are interested in this domain, please act quickly, as we soon intend to bring
it to the auction where the acquisition cost will be higher than now.

Please use the link below to discover the current cost of the domain, read more
about the advantages of owning a .com and get information on the details of the
purchase and domain transfer procedure:

Secure blahblah now! <http://www.domainguardsystem.com/view.php?e=3463465195&r=46436362610">

Best regards,
Dan Johnson
Domain Guard System
mailto: dan@domainguardsystem.com

And without further ado, my reply.

On Mon, December 8, 2008 8:11 am, Dan Johnson wrote:
> The domain blahblahblah
> <http://www.domainguardsystem.com/domaininfo.php?e=106785195&r=4434434y677> has
> recently become available for us so we are offering it to you, because you
> are the owner of its .org version.

    Translation.  Dan Johnson is a worthless sack of putrescence who
purchases domains at the low cost of $5/year (probably less since he has
an Enom reseller license) in a TLD different than the one of the target
domain.  This waste of human feces then emails a scary email to whom he
hopes is a chump that is willing to pony up $99/year so they can get
"control" through his reseller account at Enom and continue to fork over
money every year based on his scare tactics.

    Well, Mr. Dines on Sperm Johnson, given that in the 10 or so years
blahblahblah has been registered by me blahblahblah.com .net and .tld of any
other kind has never been registered, enjoy your property for however
long you registered it.  I know it cost you about as much as you charge
your back alley tricks for a handjob so I cannot take any solace in the
fact that it might lead to your financial ruin.  I'm sure you have a
steady stream of Johns up there at 185 Torresdale Ave., North York,
Ontario M2R 3E5, Canada who want to just keep warm for a few scant
minutes in your loving hand.  Who knows, maybe just one of them will
read this and feels shamed knowing the street whore they're having beat
them off is so low as to try to scam people they'll call 1-845-704-7378
and cancel future love sessions.

    I can only hope.

Not my best but certainly not my worst, either.


2 responses to “I am not a nice man…

  1. Well, it’s not all that funny… while some of these jokers do own, or at least “taste” the domain, this outfit does not. That means when you get one of these emails, you can generally go to your registrar of choice and register it for the normal fee.

    If you click on the link in the email, it may trigger an automated registering process where you WILL have to pay them for the domain if you want it, so be careful, or click on the link if you DON’T want the domain to annoy them. And if you want to stop these emails, just look up where their site is hosted and file a spam report. It’s an easy and effective way to stop non-hardcore spammers.

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