Handling USPS Spam From the Religious

Several times a year I get a letter sent through the US Postal Service from some religious organization or another spamming me with their ideological tripe.  Most have some postage paid return envelope in hopes that whatever sucker… sorry… prospective convert they have spammed can sign up to get a free cross, give money, that sort of thing.  For a while I have been tearing up all the other items in the envelope and mailing it back to them.  My way of saying, “Take this and use it to reenact what you think the story of Lot was all about.”  They paid to send it to me, they can pay to get it back so they can waste space it their landfill, not mine.

However a few nights ago it dawned on me that I have not been as strong as I could have been in declining whatever it was they were trying to sell.  I live in Sin City.  On every street corner within a mile radius of the Strip are 2-3 newspaper dispensers full of escort ads.  Why send their own stuff back to them when I can offer suggestions on alternative means of relieving the tension they are feeling?  If they find it offensive, well, just consider it my taking the old testament eye-for-an-eye lessons to heart.

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4 responses to “Handling USPS Spam From the Religious

  1. Just for the record to any Ubuntu User’s Mailing List people that clicked through on the message I sent out this morning with the link to this blog posting I did not intend for that to go to the mailing list. My intent was a private message to Cybe R. Wizard with the link. However, I forgot the list sets a reply-to back to the list. My client at the time, Thunderbird, honors the reply-to and I didn’t double check the destination. My apologizes for anyone who might have thought I was trying to drive mass traffic to my site. I had only intended 1 view from my message. 😉

  2. Hee.

    Picking up the odd collection of escort service ads and mailing them back has a nice touch.

    Other possibilities exist.

    Reply to them saying you are Jesus Christ. I did this to one rather obnoxious group based out of Oklahoma, who sends “prayer rug” gimmicks with the instructions to put it under your bed, then send the “rug” back. Sometimes they include coins (2 cents) to put in your shoes. Of course, I kept both items. So on the contact info I wrote down Jesus Christ and they started sending me letters (which eventually stopped) addressed to Dear Brother Christ. I think someone in their organization got wind of this.

    There’s a verse in Revelation where Jesus is quoted as saying something like “Depart from me, I never knew you” – has a nice touch.

    You could also claim that you were God Almighty, and say how dare they think they have the authority to do what they are doing. Blasphemy is a nice ring.

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